The End, Til the Next One

I've been thinking a lot about how to summarize the trip, and especially the unexpected turn it took.  Here's the one-sentence summary I came up with:

I had a vision and a purpose for this trip, and when I couldn't achieve any of that, I found myself in Bismarck, ND, asking myself, "What am I doing here?"

As you know, the vision and purpose had to do with two-lane US highways that promised accessibility to interesting places (Fort Peck Dam, Mono Lake, etc.) unavailable to the Interstate traveler.  Whole regions opened up (the Canadian borderlands, western WA and OR, the west side of the Sierra Nevadas, etc.).  So it sounded great.  But it wasn't going to work, for reasons I should have thought more about before I left:  few towns with hotels and even gas stations; constant use of GPS and cell phone in general instead of attending to the road and enjoying the scenery.  The latter was especially frustrating, for reasons you'll understand when you get to be my age and forced to use technology you have not used for your whole life.

I had a conversation with Abbey last night that helped me understand another aspect of the trip.  Every other trip across the country had a purpose:  bring Lily's worldly possessions to her in CA; on two separate trips, distribute Steere family heirlooms and Sands (my mother's family) family heirlooms; move the Tesla from A to B, etc.  And I always got to visit Randall and Lily, which was a great reason to go.*  And also Quog and family, for all but one or two trips.  It occurred to me that I have often joked about "finding a reason to go cross-country," suggesting that I didn't think I should be taking the time away and spending the money unless I was pursing a task.  

This trip was different.  It was completely self-indulgent, and I do not do self-indulgent.  I justified it because Abbey was spending 2+ weeks away at workshops, and we had a huge number of Chase Visa rewards points.  But, looking back, this trip was always fragile, always vulnerable to the (self-generated)** charge of "selfish!" or "irresponsible!"

I don't know what to do with that, really; it's just something to think about, is all, and to learn from.  There will definitely be other trips, because I am by no means done with the West.  Anyone need something that will fit in my car moved from A to B?

 * - The more I think of it, the more I believe that just having Randall and Lily at the far end of the trip kind of anchored it in my mind, gave it purpose all by itself, and eliminated the need to ask "Is it OK for me to do this?"  This time, I really felt their absence, there at the far end of West.

 ** - Abbey has always been very supportive; she'd be a lot happier if I were a lot more self-indulgent.